Coffee with Coconut Oil, Please

Ok. So times are tough all around. Get it.

But there are some things that are just not neogtiable - having some form of a milk product for your coffee is one.

I found myself in a theme park earlier this week (Picture legions of cranky children sporting ears and young girls in pink, yellow and aqua princess dresses.) The only product served with coffee is a non-dairy creamer. Not at that stand, not in that particular land but in the entire theme park - from main street to the frontier - there is no such thing as coffee with cream, half and half, or milk of any kind.

Might I get some from you, kind server, you who hails originally from Akron, Ohio? I see that you have some behind the counter there.
No.

Really, I can only get coconut oil for my coffee? That's the best you can do?
Oh, wait. Yes. You can buy a carton of milk from me for your coffee. That will be $2.14.

To have milk in my cofffee will cost me 2 additional bucks?
Actually, $2.14 to be exact.

But don't you think it's reasonable to expect that a dairy product would be available to me? Hey, even skim milk. Just something from a cow.

Jeremy arrived. He is the area manager and he listened to me without flinching, blinking or laughing out loud. (BTW, thank you Jeremy.)
That's right. This is what we serve with coffee everywhere.

Is there no one of the thousands who flood this park every hour who shares my outrage that we cannot have a dairy product with our coffee should we choose to? We are not all vegans, not that there's anything wrong with that. Nor are we stockholders in your entertainment conglomerate driven to wring shareholder value out of every transaction.
I'll put it in my end of day report.

Thank you Jeremy. And a shout out for your hand held trash picker - the one you used to pick up the sugar packet I dropped when you asked the server originally from Akron, OH to give me a small amount of milk in a cup.

As a mouse expects cheese, so do people want coffee with cream, please.